Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
