The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
