I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
then he tried to convert me to islam
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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