ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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