apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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