he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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