Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
