Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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