First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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