You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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