were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
