I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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