I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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