My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
