It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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