she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
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I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
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NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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