So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
