Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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