I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
