I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize
