If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
