I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
