Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Gay?
German.
Pity.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
