Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
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