wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
