i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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