Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
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