If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
please come you make the beer taste better
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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