Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
