no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I just forgot I was standing up.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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