I accidentally burped into my bong.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
