If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
