recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
