i was born a porn star she said
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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