Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
When are your genitals available?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
