dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
