I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
