Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
