Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
