I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Randomize
