That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
they need to just BURY HIM!
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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