My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
