When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
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