i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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