the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize