if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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