you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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