Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
