EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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