im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
