Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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