3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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