Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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