He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
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