Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
