No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Sorry about my life...
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
My vagina just clenched in fear
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
