I need help removing her.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
