this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
handjob tips. give me some.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize