no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
