I'm really into asian looking animals
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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